WHAT EVERY MARRIAGE NEEDS

In the first year of our marriage, he would come home from work, drop his bag, and start talking about his day. How his boss annoyed him, how someone tried to overtake him on the road, how the plantain seller called him “brother fine boy.” Random gist.

At first, I listened, laughed, and added spice to his stories. But gradually, I got tired.

See, I'm a working-class woman too. After a long day of Lagos traffic, office wahala, and market runs, the last thing I wanted was to become a sounding board for every single event in his life.

So I started brushing him off.

“Eya, sorry,” I would say while scrolling on my phone.

Other times I would nod absentmindedly, only to realize I didn’t even hear what he said.

One day, he paused and asked, “Are you even listening to me at all?”

And I replied, “Babe, it’s not everything you’ll talk about. Can I just rest?”

That night, he slept without saying a word. No back rub, no goodnight kiss just snoring and breathing like a betrayed goat.

Still, I didn’t take it seriously.

Until I met Anita.

One Sunday after church, we bumped into one of his female colleagues. She was very friendly. A bit too friendly, if you ask me.

“Oh my God, Chuka! You were so funny at work this week. You always make me laugh,” she said while touching his arm like five times.

I laughed with her, but in my mind I was calculating how to drag her braid.

After she left, I asked him, “So you’ve been making her laugh, but you can’t gist with me again?”

He looked at me, smiled and said, “Why would I disturb you? You’re always tired.”

Ha! My body suddenly reset.

That night, I sat beside him, switched off my phone, and said, “Baby, talk to me. What happened today at work?”

He blinked, surprised. “You sure?”

“Yes nah. Your gist dey always sweet me.”

That’s how this man started talking like a talkative that drank Lipton.

Me that used to shout “babe please now,” I was now the one saying “really? What happened next?” every five minutes.

Even when I started dosing off, I was still trying to hold my eyelids like a movie scene.

Because one thing I will never let happen in this life is to lose my husband’s attention to one Anita in the office who knows how to listen to gist.

Since that day, he talks, I listen. We laugh together. And guess what? Our bond is even stronger now.

Sometimes, your partner doesn’t need big money or big trips. Just attention.

Listen. Talk. Play. Gist.

Don't let someone else give them what you're too tired to offer