JOY OF REACHING THE END OF THE MONTH- BY YUSHAB ABOLORE

Omo, the joy of reaching the end of the month! The time when all my creditors come out of the woodwork like zombies, demanding their pound of flesh. And by flesh, I mean the money I don't have.

I've been expertly dodging pleas for cash (billings) with the classic "wait till the end of the month" excuse. But now, the end is nigh, and I'm as broke as a joke. I can only afford to pay for my sins, and even that's a stretch.

I've heard death is a debt, and I've used my life as collateral to collect a loan. If the Angel of Death comes knocking, I'll be like, "Sorry, mate, I'm a little short this month. Can I get an extension?"

And don't even get me started on giving Caesar what belongs to Caesar. I've been using everything that belongs to Caesar to survive – food, water, oxygen... If Caesar finds out, I'm doomed!

So, to all my creditors, please, for the love of all things holy, don't choke me with your messages! I promise I won't kill anyone (unless it's myself, from embarrassment). And that can't happen!

Remember, I'm not made of money. I'm made of broken dreams and empty promises. So, bear with me, and let's get through this Tinubu's collapsed economy together!

END OF THE MONTH 

YUSHAB A. AYOMIDE

(Speaking Pen)

- Nigeria