WHEN YOU EXPECT YOUR SPOUSE TO READ YOUR MIND- BY ASHLEY WILLIS.

When Dave and I got married, I made a really silly assumption. I honestly assumed that the longer we were married, the less words we’d have to share. We’d just know what the other was going to say before he or she ever said it. We would be so in sync that glances and body language would just say it all. We would pretty much be able to read each other’s minds.

Over the years, I’ve realized that this is a ridiculous assumption that only leads to misunderstandings, disappointments, and arguments. Can you relate, Friend? Do you and/or your spouse struggle with expecting your spouse to be a mind-reader, too? Here are the signs and how to overcome it.

Have you ever found yourself arguing with your spouse in your head, yet no words come out? Have you ever tried to get his attention with eye rolls, pursed lips, sighs, shrugs, huffs and puffs, or stomping? Or, better yet, have you ever found yourself telling him that you are upset with him because you “shouldn’t have to tell him to do…” or “he should know…”?

If you can relate to these, then you are struggling with expecting your spouse to be a mind-reader.  And, I promise it will cause lots of frustration in your marriage, as it did in mine.

Yes, my husband knows me better than anyone else.  Yes, we finish each other’s sentences many times.  Yes, we have a deep, intimate connection that is a tremendous blessing from God. However, MY HUSBAND IS NOT A MIND-READER, AND NEITHER AM I.

I’ve tried and tried…still not. The only way I am ever going to make my hopes, dreams, desires, expectations, and pretty much anything that needs to be conveyed crystal clear is by opening my mouth and uttering the truth, in love, to my hubby.  And, he must do the same for me. Then, and ONLY then, can we truly “get” each other.

Nonverbal communication (our mannerisms, facial expressions, and body language) must be SECONDARY to verbal communication (words). One would think that this is a no-brainer, but I, along with so many wives that I’ve talked to and counselled throughout the years, struggle with this concept DAILY.

 There is so much more peace in our home when I don’t make assumptions about Dave or expect him to read my mind or “figure me out”. Wives, talking things out can be really difficult and even awkward sometimes.  But, when we do, we can know that we laid it all on the table.  We don’t have to play the “guess what I’m thinking” game, which is seemingly endearing  but extremely ineffective. Let’s not expect our husbands to read our minds or figure us out.  That’s honestly a terrifying thought for most men.  Let’s use our words, in the most loving, but truthful way possible.

BLESSINGS

ASHLEY WILLIS.