HOW DO YOU DO? VS HOW ARE YOU DOING?_ BY KAREEM ABAYOMI

Language is beautiful, arbitrary, dynamic, and human.

It is beautiful when the right words are used in the right ways and when words are used poetically.

It is arbitrary because you cannot explain or prove why some things are called what they are called. Is there any explanation for why a house is called a house? Is there any reason why a man, woman, boy, girl, car, and other things are called what they are called? Can you give any reasons and prove them beyond doubt?

It is largely a matter of convention and general agreement.

Undoubtedly, greetings and asking after the welfare of others are important aspects of human interaction, especially in African societies.

In Nigeria, our official language is English, a legacy of British colonisation.

Even though we try as much as possible to learn English and speak it with precision and grace, we sometimes find ourselves in awkward situations. This is partly because we are still learning the language and its conventions, especially those that differ from the conventions of our indigenous languages.

Good examples of these are greetings such as:

How do you do? vs. How are you doing?

And I hope… expressions.

When someone asks you, "How do you do?", the first thing that comes to your mind is that the person is asking after your welfare. This may be partly because we are more familiar with greetings that enquire about someone's well-being and partly because of the influence of our indigenous languages on how we interpret English expressions.

However, How do you do? is a formal expression traditionally used when meeting someone for the first time. It is more of a polite greeting than a question about someone's well-being.

For example:

ABAYOMI: Good morning. My name is Abayomi.

SINACHI: Good morning. I'm Sinachi. How do you do?

ABAYOMI: How do you do?

Although it's widely agreed that it is wrong or impolite to use question to answer question but this is an exception to that convention.

At first, you might wonder why Abayomi simply repeats the expression instead of saying, “I'm fine, thank you.” After all, isn't Sinachi asking how he is doing?

Not exactly!

As mentioned earlier, traditionally, “How do you do?” is a formal greeting used when meeting someone for the first time. Although it is grammatically structured as a question, it functions more like a polite way of acknowledging an introduction than a genuine inquiry about someone's condition.

In other words, neither Abayomi nor Sinachi needs to explain how they feel. They are simply exchanging a polite greeting.

Do I have to respond with the same expression?

A convention is a generally accepted rule, practice, or way of doing things that guides behaviour within a particular language, society, or system. Such conventions may be established by scholars or regulatory bodies, or they may develop naturally through common usage and social agreement.

In language, conventions are the generally accepted rules and practices that guide how words and expressions are used and understood in different contexts.

Therefore the response “How do you do?” by Abayomi in the example above is a conventional reply to the greeting by Sinachi which appears like a question. It simply acknowledges the other person's introduction and maintains the formality of the encounter. It is similar in purpose to saying “Pleased to meet you,” or "Nice to meet you."

Today, this expression is more common in formal settings and may sound old-fashioned in everyday conversations. A more common expressions used today are "Nice to meet you!" or "Pleased to meet you!"

And you know that the natural response to these are "Nice to meet you too!" and Pleased to meet you too!" This explains why repeating "How do you?" is the right response to the expression.

However, it can be awkward if either of the people involved does not understand this convention.

Again, this is one of the instances that shows the arbitrariness of language.

Mind you, don't forget that this expression is traditionally associated with people meeting for the first time. Know this and save yourself a lot of blushes!

On the other hand, "How are you doing?" is a friendly way to ask someone about their well-being. It can be used when meeting a friend, a colleague, a classmate, or even someone you have not seen in a while.

For example:

ABAYOMI: Hey, Sinachi! It's been a while. How are you doing?

SINACHI: I'm doing great, thanks. How about you?

ABAYOMI: I'm good, too!

Unlike "How do you do?", this expression invites the other person to talk about how they are feeling or how life is treating them. However, people sometimes mistake the former for the latter.

You can also ask, "How are you?" Both expressions are perfectly natural in everyday conversations.

One other expression that non-native speakers of English might find awkward is the use of "I hope…" expressions.

The dilemma is often whether to put a full stop or a question mark at the end of such expressions.

"I hope…" expressions often communicate goodwill, concern, or expectations.

Unlike the first two expressions, "I hope…" introduces a wish or expectation. It is not a question by itself, although it can form part of a longer sentence that asks a question.

For example:

1) I hope you are doing well.

2) I hope you had a wonderful weekend.

3) I hope your examination went well.

4) I hope you have arrived safely.

These expressions show that you wish someone well or hope that something good has happened to them.

You can see that they end with full stops, not question marks, because they are not questions. They express wishes, concerns, goodwill, or expectations.

The easiest way to remember how to use these expressions is to consider what you want to communicate.

  When making a formal introduction or meeting someone for the first time, especially in traditional or very formal settings, you can use "How do you do?"

 Moreover, use "How are you doing?" when you want to ask someone about their well-being in a natural, conversational way.

 In addition, use "I hope…" when expressing a wish, goodwill, or concern for someone. In written sentences, it should end with a full stop rather than a question mark.

Understanding how to use the right words and expressions in the right contexts is what differentiates a proficient speaker of a language from an average speaker of the same language.

Nevertheless, these seemingly complex aspects of language are part of what makes it beautiful and dynamic.

© KAREEM ABAYOMI