DIALOGUE: "THE COST OF DOMESTIC HARMONY" BY AJAKAYE AND MYLES: A CRITICAL ANALYSIS BY PROFESSOR TIMEHIN SAHEED

A:

Aaaaaaahhh...O Lord!

I thought he would light my dying emotions...

like the fading of the clouds at night,

my emotional peace runs away from me,

all I read...are heart hurting.

B:

My princess, a man's phone is like a ticking bomb...

The moment you touch it, the count begins....

It won't melt on the palm of your hands,

Nor will it explode at the touch of its screen....

The explosion will be in you when you start perusing through it!

A:

My father...even if it would be your last,

wouldn't you take my side before my emotions blast?

Amongst thousands of scholars, I chose him,

for I breathe in air, I tell him,

why has he done all these while we will marry in May?

B:

My angel, men are polygamous in nature...

Tasting waters is a norm to them...

If he comes back to you everyday and he doesn't give excuses to sleep out...

Your better half he's,

If he puts you first before any other woman, then cry not my daughter!

His life without you shall be total chaos, even though the concubines are there _your space can never be filled!

A:

Do you mean it?

For how long would his two eyes

look North and East and belong to the my West?

I will keep my tears released while I am alone,

now I know I am like a lucky loon bird, 

what if he brings another skirt home?

B:

Trust you me, give him some peace of mind...

A man's home is where there is peace and harmony..

If you give him this your arms will be his safest haven!

Remember the way to a man's heart is through his stomach...

Treat him like your first child, en he'll treat you like his queen mother!

Lastly avoid his phone, do all these en his eyes will only eye you....

A:

I will do just as your voice tells me,

in my heart, his picture would glitter everlastingly,

before he calls, before him, I will be.

I will avoid his phone like sunlight 

avoids the cloud when night drives into the day.

Did my mother also do all these?

B:

My darlin wife never bothered to check my phone, with this she found peace...

Happiness refined our house making us a perfect family!

She never listened to gossipers, for gossips breaks a beautiful home...

You're the pillar to your house, while your husband is just but the roof that covers you!

With your hands you can either build or destroy your home....

Be sharp my dear, all shall work out well for you!

©️ RASHIDAT OLAMIDAYO AJAKAYE  STRIDA

- Nigeria 

and 

© MYLES PHYL

- Kenya

The Cost of Domestic Harmony: A Critical Reflection

“The Cost of Domestic Harmony” by Rasheedah Ajakaye and Myles Phyl is a poetic dialogue that takes its ideational essence from the daily struggle of young brides in patriarchal societies. It dramatizes an intimate conversation between a distressed young woman (A) and an older male figure (B), presumably her father or a paternal advisor. The poem explores themes of trust, emotional insecurity, patriarchal marital counsel, and the tension between romantic expectations and socially normalized male behaviour. Through metaphor-rich exchanges and proverbial wisdom, the dialogue constructs a narrative of emotional negotiation in heterosexual relationships, particularly within African socio-cultural frames. While the poem succeeds in evoking emotional immediacy and conversational realism, it also invites critical reflection on its ideological positioning regarding gender, agency, and marital ethics.

Thematic Analysis

At its core, the poem interrogates emotional vulnerability and trust in romantic relationships. Speaker A embodies anxiety and emotional turbulence, expressed through metaphors of fading clouds, dying emotions, and heart pain. Her distress arises from suspicion and uncertainty, symbolized powerfully by the man’s phone which is an emblem of secrecy, modern intimacy, and digital temptation.

Speaker B responds not by questioning the man’s conduct but by normalizing male polygamous tendencies, framing them as natural and inevitable: “men are polygamous in nature… tasting waters is a norm to them.” This ideological move shifts the burden of emotional stability to the woman. Domestic harmony, the poem suggests, is thus achieved not through mutual accountability but through the woman’s submission, endurance, compliance, and strategic emotional labour.

Thus, the “cost” of harmony becomes clear: the woman must silence suspicion, suppress jealousy, avoid questioning, and provide peace, nourishment, and maternal care to sustain the man’s loyalty. The poem therefore dramatizes a transactional model of marital stability, where female self-regulation purchases male constancy and fidelity.

Symbolism and Imagery

The poem’s imagery is vivid and contemporary:

- The phone as a “ticking bomb” effectively modernizes classical themes of secrecy and betrayal.

- Directional imagery (“his two eyes look North and East and belong to my West”) poetically conveys divided attention and emotional displacement.

- Home as roof and pillar frames marriage architecturally, assigning supportive strength to the woman and protective authority to the man.

These metaphors succeed in visualizing abstract emotional states. However, some images mix registers: romantic lyricism blends with proverbial moral instruction occasionally producing stylistic inconsistency.

*Voice and Dramatic Structure*

The dialogue format is one of the poem’s strengths. It mirrors oral counsel traditions common in African traditional family discourse, where elders advise younger members on marital conduct. This dialogic structure enhances performative potential and emotional immediacy.

Yet, the dramatic tension resolves quickly in favour of Speaker B’s authority. Speaker A’s doubts are not meaningfully negotiated; they are absorbed into submission. This limits the dialogic openness that the format initially promises.

Gender Ideology and Critical Reflection

From a critical perspective, the poem reflects patriarchal marital ethics that place the responsibility for harmony primarily on women. The man’s possible infidelity is excused as natural, while the woman’s surveillance is framed as destructive. Emotional suffering is individualized rather than ethically addressed.

This worldview aligns with traditional marital didacticism but may invite contemporary readers to question:

- Should harmony depend on female emotional self-erasure?

- Is trust sustainable without transparency?

- Does normalizing male infidelity stabilize or destabilize family ethics?

These tensions give the poem interpretive richness, making it a productive text for discussions on gendered emotional labour in modern African societies.

Language and Style

The diction is direct, conversational, and accessible, enriched with poetic flourishes. Occasional grammatical inconsistencies and code-switching between formal lyricism and colloquial phrasing slightly weaken it's depth but contribute to oral authenticity. The repetition of advisory proverbs reinforces the tone of inherited wisdom.

Overall Evaluation

“The Cost of Domestic Harmony” is a socially resonant poetic dialogue that captures contemporary anxieties about love, surveillance, and trust in the digital age. Its strength lies in metaphorical creativity, emotional immediacy, and cultural realism. Its limitation lies in its uncritical endorsement of unequal emotional responsibility in marriage. Precisely for this reason, the poem succeeds as a reflective text: it does not merely tell a story but provokes debate on what harmony truly costs and who pays the price.

Ultimately, the poem stands at the intersection of romantic lyricism, social didacticism, and cultural realism. It speaks in the voice of tradition, yet echoes the contradictions of modern love. Its enduring value lies in its ability to make readers ask: is peace in love achieved through silence, or through shared accountability?

Thank you.