MERCY IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS- BY GREG ELKAN

“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”– Ps 147:3.

As we get older and the years pass on, our life’s rear-view mirror tend to become clearer. And our regrets when we look back at relationships we damaged or allowed to drift can feel heavier than financial loss. Harsh words spoken to parents now gone, seasons of selfishness that cost us a marriage, friendships we neglected, children we wounded by our immaturity, love we threw away on the wrong people – these are the “locusts” that eat at our hearts far deeper than money ever could.

But praise God, the same mercy that redeems us from sin and from financial foolishness, can reach even further into our relationships. 

Mercy in this area does four beautiful things for the Believer:

Firstly, it heals the heart that still carries guilt and sorrow. David famously cried after his most notable sin, _“Create in me a clean heart, O God”_ (Ps 51:10). God’s mercy doesn’t merely forgive; it cleanses the memory so that shame no longer poisons today.

Secondly, mercy breaks the power of old destructive patterns. Paul tells us in Rom 2:4 that _“The goodness of God leadeth you to repentance”_ (a change of mind). Many of us keep repeating the same mistakes in relationships; like choosing the same kind of toxic people, or reacting in the same angry or fearful ways. But mercy gives us eyes to see what we couldn’t see before and strength to walk differently. 

Thirdly, mercy surrounds us with better relationships than we deserve. Think of how many of us, after seasons of burning bridges, have been given patient friends, wise mentors, or even a godly spouse who loves us in spite of our history. That is pure mercy from God, and many of us don’t thank God enough for that.

Fourthly, where it is possible and wise, mercy opens doors for genuine restoration. Adult children who once felt abandoned now receive a humble parent. Siblings long estranged find a way back to laughter. Living parents hear the _“I’m sorry”_ they waited decades for. Even divorced relationships can, in time, move from bitterness to peaceful co-parenting or simple civility; all because mercy has been brought into the equation.

We see this so clearly in the story of Joseph and his brothers (Gen 45:1-15; 50:15-21). They had sold him into slavery: the ultimate betrayal by ones siblings. But years later, when they stood terrified before the brother they had wounded, Joseph wept and said, _“You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.”_ Because of mercy, there was full reconciliation and restoration in the family. 

Now, not every story will end like that;  some people are no longer here, or some boundaries must remain, but even when outward restoration isn’t possible, inward healing and forward fruitfulness always are.

Beloved, have you made some terrible relationship decisions in your life? Heb 4:16 is telling you to _“come boldly unto the throne of grace,”_ so that you may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

AMEN!

©GREG ELKAN

-Nigeria