NARRATIVE: "LOST IN THE SMOKE" BY KINGSLEY KING

  

Mama we miss you it's been long since we've seen you.

We hope you Ok we pray everyday , that God sees you.

I know it's not easy looking after us but please do come back don't turn your back on us we still need you.

We sit at the floor and stare at the door for a knock every night.

Nkosi and Mpilo I hold them both assuring them you'll come by.

But I'm not sure anymore that you will ever arrive.

Don't get it ,did drugs cause you to disregard our lives?

Ever since you began taking them you not who you was mom.

They smolder your brain you not thinking the way you once thought.

No smiles no hugs nomore telling how much you love us.

You seek excuse to be mad and lash out on us.

I know the day when dad walked away it really harmed yah.

But it harmed us too , don't mean to say we feel what you feel mama.

But we desire you become strong for us and not go from us ,

Like he did he was driven by lust don't be driven by drugs mama.

 

If he's the reason you started then you let yourself be reckless.

You got us to take care , Nkosi is nine and Mpilo is just seven.

I'm fourteen , if you don't show up I don't know how to help them.

Maybe sell our clothes and yours by the streets of Magwegwe.

'Cause food low , tomorrow the pantry would be empty.

Family torn , can't recall when we was happy.

Every joy taken from it and replaced by sadness.

It's been eight days since you left we hope that you get back ,

We suffocating in your Cloud Of Smoke.

I wonder what my children might be thinking of me.

All the time I'm on Mbanje it has it's grip on me.

I feel alone and lost my life I see demolish.

I keep going though I know these drugs will destroy me.

Each urge for them I'm hurt and I try to ignore it.

But it gets stronger than me I cannot control it.

Wanna stop for my kids now I cry while I'm smoking.

I light it and it lights me ,my lungs and mind it scorches.

You prohibited me to work ,now , money how to get it.

I'm stuck with de'ts and lots of financial obligations.

I'm constantly searching for a job I can't find any ,

Except part times I get sometimes but they are not many.

I don't even know where you live you left with no saying.

So much strain , I burnout for the small my kids can eat.

One night ,when I was heading home after toilet cleaning.

A gang of man dragged me to a bush and began raping me.

They left me there in devastation wishing I could kill me.

But I don't live for me otherwise I would not be breathing.

When I was presented this substance I could not resist it.

With it I thought that I'll blow the pain off my chest cavity.

Misconception I carried in me guess nothing will heal me.

My children they don't deserve all this I pray God you lead me.

I don't know exactly where I am but soon I'll be leaving.

Voices in my head make me not know what to believe in.

Don't know the street I'm in and I'm beginning to see things.

Something's amiss , I just wanna go home where my kids is ,

I'm suffocating in my Cloud Of Smoke.

© KINGSLEY KING

-Nigeria

This poem is a heart-wrenching portrayal of a mother's addiction and her children's desperate plea for her return. The dual perspectives reveal the devastating impact of substance abuse on families, with the mother's guilt and pain juxtaposed against the children's longing and fear. Imagery like "suffocating in your Cloud Of Smoke" and "my lungs and mind it scorches" conveys the suffocating grip of addiction. The poem's raw emotion and conversational tone make it a powerful exploration of love, loss, and the struggle for redemption.