LAMENTATION: "I HAVE TO WRITE" BY AJAKAYE STRIDA

My heart burns everyday,

every minute is no longer a friend to me,

the world made me a demon,

my emotion is being toyed with,

what did I do to deserve all these?

My heart burns everyday,

no one is true to me,

except my mother and siblings who fed

me with the earliest routes of success.

My heart burns everyday,

I am not writing poetry,

I am weeping with words,

love is not easy,

ambition is not easy,

peace is not easy,

all that I worth aren't easy also...

nothing seems easy!

My heart burns everyday,

God, why am I here?

Why didn't you make me an angel up in the heavens with you?

Weeping and living,

dying and struggling,

dreams discouraged by those who admire my beauty,

I can do the job

but he wants me to pay in kind.

The king wanted to take my glory,

he did not do as he would for his daughter.

My heart burns everyday,

Eledumare...who created me,

when will happiness be my friend,

why is bliss a temporary part of me?

My skin is strong like burnt clay,

I am not wanting to live anymore,

I just want to go,

I want to go and rest.

Sometimes, I wonder...

I wonder if I was born by mistake,

Eledumare...do you see all that happens to me?

How long more would pain hunt me?

How long more would I be the prey of pain?

I just need a drop of happiness,

don't take one to give me another,

even the ones you gave still feature distress.

I thank Ye everyday

but I want to be better.

In my lifetime, 

I have never experienced the term, Love.

So...I write that my heart burns everyday,

this is not a world that I belong,

I want to rest,

Eledumare...if my life doesn't make me happy,

wouldn't you take my life?

Can any man be dead in the heart and live?

My heart burns everyday,

tears morning, afternoon, evening,

I hate opening my eyes in the middle of the nights,

the darkness reminds me of my problems again.

My heart burns everyday,

to live is almost becoming a curse to me.

©️ RASHIDAT OLAMIDAYO AJAKAYE 

STRIDA

-Nigeria

This poem is a raw and heartbreaking cry of pain, a lamentation of a soul struggling to find meaning in a world filled with suffering. The speaker's heart "burns everyday", a metaphor for the intense emotional pain they're enduring, as they grapple with feelings of isolation, betrayal, and desperation. They feel demonized by the world, their emotions toyed with, and question their existence, wondering if they were born by mistake. The poem's repetitive refrain becomes a dirge, echoing the psalmist's cries, as the speaker seeks answers from Eledumare, their creator. With brutal honesty, they express their exhaustion, longing for happiness, and questioning the purpose of their life. The poem's emotional intensity is palpable, leaving the reader with a sense of the speaker's profound anguish and despair.