THE OVERHEARD ALTERCATION- BY CLEMENT ERNESTERICK

"...Mad person. You ran insane here and the community witnessed. You stupid fool who has a lot of backlogs back in the university, can not even finish his degree! I am going to tell my kids, Ivan Davis and Devine Joyce that you are not their [paternal] uncle", Retorted an elder brother, possibly in his early 40s, to his about 27-year- old younger brother. "'Mad', I am but you got the guts to insult your own blood brother mad (schizophrenic)? That's me you're calling mad! You're the maddest. As for your kids, you are free to inform them that I have no relations with them. I am not their dad. As a fact, that's what you've been telling me and in the broad daylight, yell to the public to hear. That's what Mother told [your] brother in my presence, at a common sitting", the younger slashed back, heaving wrath.

This conflict that I witnessed has made me ponder on a lot of things on the nature of blood-ties; the role women (mothers) play in raising up children, in causing division in the family: father parting with children, brothers fighting to death, and the causes of separation and divorce in their daughters' marriage among other things connected socio-familial issues.

 In escalated cases, dear friends, clinging onto things that can bring your death to an abrupt end, it is advisable that we cut off whatever that ties us together. Adult knavery and immaturity in an adult human being has a lot to do with upbringing than institutionalized education system. And in my experience, I have come to realize that a man should not spend a lot of time with the womenfolk, mothers included. Such scenarios has serious effects on man like being emasculated by his wife, developing fe-men attributes and as a result suffers a lot of social challenges.

Moreover, I've been pondering: 'since when did sickness suffered by a person become a thing of insult? If manhood and being a firstborn guarantees one fatherly figure in his Father's homestead, was that a fatherly play and manner of conduct towards the younger sibling? Renunciation of family ties is a grave matter, and if it happens that in some sort these two men has certain discord, which is sure evident, is that a proper way to resolve the matter?' I've been correlating this incident with the Biblical Cain, "Am I my brother's keeper?" with the recent homily Archbishop Maurice Muhatia Makumba issued about the Parable of the Prodigal son(s), "This [your] son, hili jitoto lako..." and I perceive instances of rebuke against such improper use of speech.

Detachment, renunciation of, the cutting off of the family ties instead of taking up responsibility and ameliorating the disagreements that threatens the cordial relationships is evil yet sometimes necessary for personal peace.

"You call me mad yet you're not done with siring children? You insult me with the disease of the mind but you are not done with raising up offsprings. Got still young kids, barely 8 and 4 respectively, whom you do not know how they'll turn out!" Burning with wrath, the younger spitted that to his brother.

"With what exclusive power do the firstborn sons have to utter cursive words to their siblings that's not extended to the rest? Who the hell do they think they are in the family unit of a society? A father to their fellow brothers and sisters? O nay! Never can they be! Such Freudian Psychoanalysis of Oedipus vs Electra complex rooted in Classical Greek mythologies isn't a Nilotic, Luo culture of life. It never can be! A fellow; son as us to our Parents, possessing common blood circulating through our system. Bequeathed with the same authority and power as us, however the difference in birth order", I retreated to internal conversation.

To build a family is not a sole role of the first son. It is a cooperative effort of all the family members; contribution of each strengthens the whole structure. Above all, a strong family is dependent on parenthood and parenting styles. A home lacking in formidable, strong sociospiritual principles and good education is bound to fall rather like a house built on a foundation of sand alone.

Dear friends, acquaintances, strangers, relatives and thou mine venerable lectors, you see, some of our big brothers and sisters have done nothing significant in the family but only have their manhood and womanhood a sing-song to others as if it were something edible; food that aids in the growth, development, formation of a whole being among plethora of other contributive factors. Needless to say that some, from their infancy have never been stopped to be nurtured and taken care of by their mothers and (fathers) because in some sort, nature has never been kind to their material and intellectual success.

"He's been constantly pressing me to shave and I politely tell him am a sane adult who knows how to handle myself. That starting from my head and dress code down to my toes shouldn't be an issue of his eternal concern, the issue he should be assisting me with is how to finish my degree. 

These people are constantly throttling me with nonsense yet they are helping with anything! Constantly reminding me that I do not belong to them, that I am lacking paternal ties with them and yet won't help me with anything remarkable!

 But I've promised myself to teach him what manhood & adulthood entails because apparently, he not only appears but in verity [is] an uneducated idiot lacking in speech training, conduct and accountability", resolved the lad within himself.

Respect is earned friends, not commanded, not demanded. Him who wants to be an object of admiration, a model to others; an icon of commendable repute, should dare live, not just exist. And living means leading an exemplary lifestyle, touching others by words that construct not destruct and goods deeds replica of a god or goddess.

© CLEMENT MWAKA ERNESTERICK

- Kenya