DO YOU ALSO TALK ABOUT US TO OTHER PEOPLE? - BY YUSHAB ABOLORE

That’s the one question I always find myself asking a close friend whenever she opens up about her encounters with others. Not because I’m curious about the drama, but because I’ve come to understand something most people learn the hard way.

𝐈𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞.

Gossip has a strange sweetness to it, but only when you’re not the subject. It feels light, even harmless, when the story isn’t about you. But the moment your name enters the room in your absence, it’s a different kind of ache. One that teaches you the true cost of misplaced trust.

Many people don't realize that gossip is a mirror. It reveals more about the one speaking than the one being spoken about. If someone eagerly brings you news laced with mockery, ridicule, or betrayal, ask yourself: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭?

Friendship is built on trust, not transaction.

The most loyal friends aren’t the ones who always agree with you, or the ones who come with all the juicy updates, they’re the ones who protect your name in rooms you’ll never walk into.

So be careful with what you laugh at.

Be mindful of what you entertain.

Be wise about what you contribute to.

Gossip isn't harmless, it’s a leak in the foundation of character, and eventually, everything built on it collapses.

Also remember that...

°• A listening ear is also a running mouth when the loyalty isn’t mutual.

°• Silence can be more loyal than words spoken out of turn.

°• And peace of mind comes from surrounding yourself with people who honour conversations meant to stay private.

Let your relationships be marked by trust, not talk.

By integrity, not intrigue.

And when in doubt, ask yourself the same question:

“𝐈𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬?”

© YUSHAB ABOLORE AYOMIDE

- Nigeria