BUILD YOUR HOME THE RIGHT WAY

1. CHOOSING A GOOD SPOUSE:

This is the foundation of a good home. Everything starts from there.

The man must select a righteous and suitable wife based on the following conditions described in various ahaadeeth:

“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!” (Bukhari, 4802; Muslim,1466).

“This world is all temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this life is a righteous wife.” (Muslim, 1468).

“Let every one of you have a thankful heart, a remembering tongue [remembering Allah] and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.” (Ahmad, 5/282; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5231).

Women must also follow the same criteria in choosing a spouse.* The most important factors for a woman in choosing a husband are his attitude/behaviour and his commitment to religion. But if she can manage to ensure compatibility (in terms of lineage and socio-economic status, etc.) as well, then this is better.

10  Shawwal, 1446 AH (NMSC, Nigeria).

2. STRIVING TO GUIDE/CORRECT ONE'S SPOUSE:

If one's spouse is righteous, this is a blessing indeed, and this is from the Bounty of Allah. Though the man is the head of the household and should guide the wife, for the purpose of building the home, both parties can share in this role. 

A man must also realize from the onset that guidance comes from Allah, and that Allah is the One Who reforms people. One of His blessings to his slave Zakariya was, as He said (interpretation of the meaning): “... and [We] cured his wife for him...” [al-Anbiya’ 21:90]. This curing or reforming may have been physical or religious. 

Ibn ‘Abbas (RadiyalLahu anhu) said: “She was barren and could not have children, then she had a child.” ‘Ataa’ said: “She was harsh of tongue, and Allah reformed her.”

There are various means of guiding or reforming one’s wife, such as paying attention to correcting her worship of Allah in all its aspects.

11 Shawwal, 1446 AH (NMSC, Nigeria).