KNOW THIS BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED!- BY SAKEENAH' WRITES

NOTE: "This content is an extract from a conversation I had with a Muslim sister who is a journalist and podcaster."

A SISTER: So, as a Muslimah, especially one who is looked up to by many and has inspired many young muslimahs to challenge abnormal norms and defend only that which is right, what advice do you have for your fellow Muslim sisters who are seeking to get married or are about to get married?

ME: Hmmm. Firstly, like I always say, "The religion of Islam is perfect, for Allah has perfected it, but there is no perfect Muslimah or perfect human. However, there is a Muslimah who is fervently striving to please Allah and emulate the Prophet's lifestyle, actions, and teachings in all ramifications."

Dear Muslimah, it is everyone's dream to get married to a pious and upright brother, it is every sister's wish to get married into a home that will love and accept her wholeheartedly, and it is the wish of every parent to see their daughters get married into a good home and to a good guy, but before you venture into marriage, before you start a new chapter in your life, and before you make up your mind to embrace the setbacks, challenges, and memorable moments that come with marriage, learn what you have to learn about your Deen. Immerse yourself in the study of the Sunnah and Hadith of the Prophet, learn the Seerah (biography) of Prophet Muhammad(SAW), know how to read the Qur'an, even if it is the transliteration, have a strong knowledge about the proper use of the hijab and how to defend it, and most importantly, know your Lord, Allah, and learn everything you can about your existence as a Muslim.

You are learning all these not to show off your knowledge to anyone, not to prove to your husband or his family that you know, and not because you are better than anyone or that you think you know anything, for we know nothing. You are learning about your Deen because the test of Allah is something we cannot avoid or run away from, and when that test comes, the knowledge you have about your Deen and how well you can defend your decision to remain a Muslim will help you navigate through and sail through tough times.

Not just that, a time will come in your life when all the knowledge you have acquired, no matter how little, will be your saving grace and source of guidance. When you start raising your own children and managing your own home, your knowledge and understanding of the Deen will help you guide them to the right path, even if you have to do it alone. Your knowledge about the Deen will also make you a support system and source of strength to your husband whenever Shaytan tries to ruin the joy in your home, tear you both apart or use external forces to drift you far away from Allah.

In summary, I'm not married, and just like many single sisters, I'm also asking Allah for the best. But ever since I reached adulthood and my relationship with Allah became stronger, I realized that I don't know anything, and the fact that reality started to dawn on me, compelled me to become more intentional and cautious about my knowledge of the Deen, who I learn from, what I digest and how I implement the teachings of the quean and the sunnah of the prophet. 

Nobody's perfect, but please, DO NOT EVER SNOOZE ON YOUR DEEN. DO NOT EVER STOP LEARNING ABOUT THE DEEN, AND DO NOT EVER STOP STRIVING TO GROW CLOSER TO ALLAH, FOR WITHOUT ALLAH, FORGET ABOUT HAVING A PEACEFUL MARRIAGE, LET ALONE SPENDING YOUR LIFE WITH A MASHALLAH BROTHER OR SISTER. May Allah continue to strengthen us in Iman and grant all our good heart desires. Amin!

SAKEENAH' WRITES

- Nigeria