WOULD HAVE BEEN LONG GONE- OLUMIDE TZEBLON.

There was a time, of all things, I wished suicide wasn't a sin. I would have been long gone. I used to hear voices, had stuffs I termed " happy hallucinations ", a sizeable measure of panic attacks.... unfortunately, I never told anyone... or maybe no one noticed how down I was.

But can you really blame me for the suicidal thoughts I had? Come to think of it,  let's think of a scenario; you've been running a long distance, trying to escape from a wicked and stronger enemy and unfortunately he catches up with you on a cliff– he points a gun at you, aiming for your head. You have two options, would you rather jump or wait to die in the hands of your enemy.... ?

So was my case, I had been running from life all these years until it caught up on April 8. It was bad. I felt so much quiet inside of me and at that moment, death wasn't an option– it was a privilege. But I didn't want to give Life the pleasure of killing me too so I wanted to do it myself and maybe I wasn't ready for the tortures– life is a slow assassin; he doesn't kill at once.

When you hear about a suicide case don't say " he's stupid, why on earth would he take his own life ". These people are not always at fault, they only lost the courage to continue and for this each and everyone of us deserves a stroke or more for their death. DON'T BE TOO BUSY TO CARE ABOUT OTHERS AS THEY WON'T ALWAYS TELL YOU THEIR PROBLEMS THE SAME WAY YOU DON'T TELL THEM YOURS.

At some point, I met a lot of interesting people and they added meaning to my diminishing existence. It was sweet and hard; I didn't want to get close to people– I was scared they'd come and leave me with scars like a few did in the past but, you see, the sooner you realize that living itself is a risk the easier it is to find peace. 

If you are still on that cliff, look ahead, there is a vineyard of hope waiting for you. Don't jump! Life won't shoot if you don't stop running. There is always an escape route. Depression is real yet redemption is free.

ORIPINYE OLUMIDE

TZEBLON.