HOW IS THE MAN THE ‘HEAD OF THE HOUSE’? PART 1 (MARRIAGE WEEK) BY DAVE WILLIS.

In my years of working with married couples, two of the most common complaints I hear from wives are: _“My husband just won’t step up and be the leader of the home.”_ And… _“My husband always demands his own way.”_ On the surface, these two complaints seem contradictory, but in fact, they represent two aspects of the same problem: Unhealthy leadership from the husband. This then begs some follow up questions.

If a guy is really the head in the home, doesn’t that mean he should be expecting or even demanding his own way? Isn’t that what leadership means or is the very notion of male leadership in the home an antiquated and sexist tool used by generations of men to perpetuate mistreatment of women? Should there really be any distinction at all between the responsibilities of a husband vs. those of a wife? Shouldn’t we just speak the language of the culture and use the gender-neutral term “partner” to replace the old-fashioned notions of “husband” and “wife”?

We live in a very confusing era for husbands and for wives as well. For men today, many are confused about what their role should be in the home. They wonder if showing respect to their wife means having to abandon the biblical mandate of male leadership as an outdated command written specifically for a different era and different set of cultural norms.

Many men aren’t sure what being a “husband” really means. They’ve seen a lot of negative PR in the news about men in positions of power misusing their authority and men and boys are tempted to react to the trending stories of sexism by distancing themselves from any form of male power, authority or leadership. We as men are abandoning our responsibilities as leaders because being completely passive seems to be a better option than being a domineering and abusive man like the terrible examples we’ve seen from so many fallen public figures.

I believe much of wives’ frustration over their husbands’ unhealthy leadership and much of the widespread male confusion over what we’re actually supposed to be doing as husbands could be solved by a quick refresher course on what the Bible actually says on these matters. 

Men, from the Bible’s perspective, you’re NOT the head of your house. Christ is the head of your house and as you submit to Him and follow in His example, your responsibilities as a husband will come into clearer focus.

As you submit to Christ as the head of your home, you’ll be stepping into your God-given responsibility as the primary leader within your home. In case you’re wondering, “leader” doesn’t mean you get to be the boss in a worldly sense. It means you have some unique roles and responsibilities that will help your family thrive.

TO BE CONTINUED…

BLESSINGS

DAVE WILLIS.